Category Archives: Personal

Big Changes

Forget The Risk

Big changes are coming. And they’re coming FAST. I am sorry to have abandoned my little place on the internet for quite some time — but my head and my heart were in a million different places at once and I found it hard to dedicate my time to anything at all — even the stuff I had to do.

Big change number one? I quit my job. You know, the one I was absolutely miserable at. Roughly 3.5 weeks ago I was at work and day-dreaming about typing up my 2 week notice when suddenly I found myself doing just that. I made it 3 weeks, since I would be gone for the middle week for Thanksgiving, handed in my notice, and immediately felt a sense of relief. Short lived, of course, as the consequences of my actions came swooping in — YOU HAVE NO JOB. NO PLAN! Unless I’m shopping, I am not a very impulsive person. I think (and think and think and think) things through (way too much) but this — it just happened.

Big change number two? I am leaving Charlotte, NC. The place I’ve come to call home in the past year. In fact, I’m leaving North Carolina all together, my home for the past four+ years, to move back in with my parents in Virginia (outside of D.C.). (gulp) It sucks to even admit that! But it will really be the best thing for me, not paying rent and trying to figure out the rest of my life. It’s no secret I have spent the last year or so in a constant state of “1/3 of life” crisis (1/4 sounds terrible, I don’t know if I want to live until I’m 100!)..

So what does big change number two really mean? It means I’m leaving Jordan, my boyfriend of nearly 2 years. This is no easy feat. And I know what you’re thinking — hello, long distance! But 7.5 hours is a LONG distance. It will be several more years before I finish college and grad-school, which means several years of long-distance. While he is completely supportive of me doing what I need to do for my future, it is a very bittersweet time because it basically means the end for us. As I said, bittersweet. But sometimes we need to make decisions in life that are bittersweet in order to better our own lives.

So, in a nutshell there are only two big life changes, but they are prettyyy big, and contain many smaller life changes within them. I have experienced great anxiety in this time and am looking forward to the future — when I can breath and know and see that this is the right thing for me to do.

On to new adventures, right?

First Steps

(both images from here)

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Weekend Night Cap

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01. Beer list at Clips of Faith / 02. Vibrant colors after the rain / 03. Kobe on one of our Sunday walks

Is it just me or are the weekends never long enough?

This weekend was absolutely lovely. Friday night we went to an event at Independence Park — New Belgium Brewing’s Clips of Faith. We tried awesome beers (my favorites included Cocoa Mole, Super IPA, and Red Hoptober — but I didn’t get to try them all) and got to watch some short independent films while sitting on the lawn. We brought Kobe with us and he loved it.

Saturday we took Kobe to the dog park early in the morning and it was so beautiful out we decided to call some friends to meet us out there. We spent the better half of the day outside tossing the football, playing with the dogs, and listening to music. After all that sun and some beers I was quite tired so we ended up lounging around that evening.

Sunday was chilly and rainy so we spent most of the day inside watching football. Jordan made us breakfast and I took Kobe on several walks. Then we cuddled up and watched the 2 hour season finale of my favorite show, Hell On Wheels! Lily better not be dead! I’m ready for the new season now, thanks!

What Am I Doing?

breaking

life

I’ve hit another wall. I’m not sure how else to explain it other than I just don’t know what to do with my life. I have so many ideas, so many different little dreams, but which of these dreams is realistic? Which do I go with? Am I crazy for dreaming some silly little things for myself? How do I know which direction to go in?

I am so grateful for Jordan. As I sat on the couch last night blurting out all these random things and “I don’t know’s” — tears building in my eyes — he came next to me, put his arm around me, and said I could do anything, and none of them sounded silly, I should do what I dream of. And in typical Jordan fashion he cracked a little joke to make me smile and forget it all…

Oh, life… I’ll figure you out one day, won’t I?

Weekend Night-Cap & Lately From Instagram

This weekend was lovely.

We joined some of Jordan’s co-workers out on Friday night and very happily spent all Saturday in bed or laying on the couch. We watched plenty of tv, movies, and I even read a little Pride & Predjudice (working on those 30 books!) I almost forgot! I soaked in the tub for nearly an hour while reading — it. was. wonderful. Jordan even boiled a pot of water a couple of times to keep the water nice and hot. After being away from home two weekends in a row it was greatly needed. I woke up Sunday feeling super relaxed and energized.

Not that I ever want to get rid of Jordan, but he had plans to golf with his dad and brother Sunday morning and I was secretly excited. I cherish time I get to spend alone — as alone as I can get with Kobe. I took Kobe to the dog park for 2 hours (TWO HOURS!) and spend the rest of the morning cleaning the condo. I finished by noon and was able to meet a neighbor at The Corner Pub to watch some football and enjoy a cold beer or two (I drank SweetWater Blue Ale — a hint of blueberries, delicious!) After the Panthers game Jordan returned home and we wrapped up the evening together with some take-out Italian & the Giants game. Disappointing loss!

I absolutely did not want to leave for work this morning, it’s rainy and dreadful outside and Kobe was being extra cuddly and precious. It’s like he knows when it’s Monday and we have to return to work — he is ten times more kissy and cuddly in trying to convince us to stay!

Enjoy some photos from Instagram lately:

Avett Brothers

Preserves

My love

Sleeping/Sky

Playful/Sleeping

Silly, Dreamy, Lovey Stuff

“Sometimes at work I realize I’m day dreaming about you, and I then also realize I have this silly, dreamy smile on my face. I love you snake, I really do.”

Jordan and I’s relationship may not be made of the typical stuff fairy-tales are made of, but it’s real. Real life is not a fairy-tale, and sometimes I have to remind myself of that. I am blessed to have the true and honest relationship I do. Relationships aren’t easy, they take hard work and effort, lots of love and caring, communication, understanding, apologies, and forgiving. The bottom line is I have fun with him, and I smile and laugh with him, and we’re so silly together. That is what we are, silly & simple.

PS — It’s a silly story why we call each other “snake” … It all started with me calling “baaaybee” to him from the other room, and he’d always reply with “snaaaaaaake.” I had no idea what he was talking about until he played Frank Zappa’s “Baby Snake” for me; he thought the way I said “baby” sounded exactly like the “baby” in the song. That is something special that only we have together. And I love it. And I love him.

Sweet September

Hold on, we’re already halfway through September?! I cannot believe yet another month has come, and is about to go. It will be a new year and a new age before I know it (my birthday is shortly after the new year)! I’m actually looking forward to 25, although the pressure is on to complete my 30 Before 30 list; so far I have 15 things and I’m struggling to come up with another 15. I just want to make sure I put things on the list that are plausible and that I do indeed want to do, and aren’t lame (or something like that.) Such a dilemma…

This past weekend I went home to surprise my Mom for her 60th birthday! And surprised she was! My little sister Kimberly goes to school at Longwood University in Farmville, Va — which is pretty much smack dab in the middle between Charlotte and northern Virginia where my parents live (just outside of DC) — so I picked her up and we made it home around 11pm Friday night. My sweet mama wasn’t feeling well all week so she went to bed pretty early so when Kimberly and I got home, we tip-toed up the stairs, into her room, and whispered “Happy Birthday!” She woke up right away but in a daze exclaimed, “Oh! Am I dreaming? Are my girls really here?!” It was the sweetest thing ever. We had a lovely weekend spending time together, my older sister Kristin (who lives 10 minutes away) even stayed over Saturday night and we all woke up Sunday to a breakfast of homemade waffles made by my Dad, just like when everyone lived at home. It was too short of a visit, but it was wonderful to be home and surprise her. Sixty only comes but once!

September is shaping up to be a wonderful month, this Friday I’ll be on my way to Atlanta, Georgia to see The Avett Brothers and I’m so very excited! (And I also get to cross off something from my 30 Before 30 list! I’ve driven through Georgia before but never actually been, so that will cross off 1 of 5 new states to visit!)

I’m such a lucky girl.