Tag Archives: life

Big Changes

Forget The Risk

Big changes are coming. And they’re coming FAST. I am sorry to have abandoned my little place on the internet for quite some time — but my head and my heart were in a million different places at once and I found it hard to dedicate my time to anything at all — even the stuff I had to do.

Big change number one? I quit my job. You know, the one I was absolutely miserable at. Roughly 3.5 weeks ago I was at work and day-dreaming about typing up my 2 week notice when suddenly I found myself doing just that. I made it 3 weeks, since I would be gone for the middle week for Thanksgiving, handed in my notice, and immediately felt a sense of relief. Short lived, of course, as the consequences of my actions came swooping in — YOU HAVE NO JOB. NO PLAN! Unless I’m shopping, I am not a very impulsive person. I think (and think and think and think) things through (way too much) but this — it just happened.

Big change number two? I am leaving Charlotte, NC. The place I’ve come to call home in the past year. In fact, I’m leaving North Carolina all together, my home for the past four+ years, to move back in with my parents in Virginia (outside of D.C.). (gulp) It sucks to even admit that! But it will really be the best thing for me, not paying rent and trying to figure out the rest of my life. It’s no secret I have spent the last year or so in a constant state of “1/3 of life” crisis (1/4 sounds terrible, I don’t know if I want to live until I’m 100!)..

So what does big change number two really mean? It means I’m leaving Jordan, my boyfriend of nearly 2 years. This is no easy feat. And I know what you’re thinking — hello, long distance! But 7.5 hours is a LONG distance. It will be several more years before I finish college and grad-school, which means several years of long-distance. While he is completely supportive of me doing what I need to do for my future, it is a very bittersweet time because it basically means the end for us. As I said, bittersweet. But sometimes we need to make decisions in life that are bittersweet in order to better our own lives.

So, in a nutshell there are only two big life changes, but they are prettyyy big, and contain many smaller life changes within them. I have experienced great anxiety in this time and am looking forward to the future — when I can breath and know and see that this is the right thing for me to do.

On to new adventures, right?

First Steps

(both images from here)

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Weekend Night Cap

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01. Beer list at Clips of Faith / 02. Vibrant colors after the rain / 03. Kobe on one of our Sunday walks

Is it just me or are the weekends never long enough?

This weekend was absolutely lovely. Friday night we went to an event at Independence Park — New Belgium Brewing’s Clips of Faith. We tried awesome beers (my favorites included Cocoa Mole, Super IPA, and Red Hoptober — but I didn’t get to try them all) and got to watch some short independent films while sitting on the lawn. We brought Kobe with us and he loved it.

Saturday we took Kobe to the dog park early in the morning and it was so beautiful out we decided to call some friends to meet us out there. We spent the better half of the day outside tossing the football, playing with the dogs, and listening to music. After all that sun and some beers I was quite tired so we ended up lounging around that evening.

Sunday was chilly and rainy so we spent most of the day inside watching football. Jordan made us breakfast and I took Kobe on several walks. Then we cuddled up and watched the 2 hour season finale of my favorite show, Hell On Wheels! Lily better not be dead! I’m ready for the new season now, thanks!

What Am I Doing?

breaking

life

I’ve hit another wall. I’m not sure how else to explain it other than I just don’t know what to do with my life. I have so many ideas, so many different little dreams, but which of these dreams is realistic? Which do I go with? Am I crazy for dreaming some silly little things for myself? How do I know which direction to go in?

I am so grateful for Jordan. As I sat on the couch last night blurting out all these random things and “I don’t know’s” — tears building in my eyes — he came next to me, put his arm around me, and said I could do anything, and none of them sounded silly, I should do what I dream of. And in typical Jordan fashion he cracked a little joke to make me smile and forget it all…

Oh, life… I’ll figure you out one day, won’t I?

Sweet September

Hold on, we’re already halfway through September?! I cannot believe yet another month has come, and is about to go. It will be a new year and a new age before I know it (my birthday is shortly after the new year)! I’m actually looking forward to 25, although the pressure is on to complete my 30 Before 30 list; so far I have 15 things and I’m struggling to come up with another 15. I just want to make sure I put things on the list that are plausible and that I do indeed want to do, and aren’t lame (or something like that.) Such a dilemma…

This past weekend I went home to surprise my Mom for her 60th birthday! And surprised she was! My little sister Kimberly goes to school at Longwood University in Farmville, Va — which is pretty much smack dab in the middle between Charlotte and northern Virginia where my parents live (just outside of DC) — so I picked her up and we made it home around 11pm Friday night. My sweet mama wasn’t feeling well all week so she went to bed pretty early so when Kimberly and I got home, we tip-toed up the stairs, into her room, and whispered “Happy Birthday!” She woke up right away but in a daze exclaimed, “Oh! Am I dreaming? Are my girls really here?!” It was the sweetest thing ever. We had a lovely weekend spending time together, my older sister Kristin (who lives 10 minutes away) even stayed over Saturday night and we all woke up Sunday to a breakfast of homemade waffles made by my Dad, just like when everyone lived at home. It was too short of a visit, but it was wonderful to be home and surprise her. Sixty only comes but once!

September is shaping up to be a wonderful month, this Friday I’ll be on my way to Atlanta, Georgia to see The Avett Brothers and I’m so very excited! (And I also get to cross off something from my 30 Before 30 list! I’ve driven through Georgia before but never actually been, so that will cross off 1 of 5 new states to visit!)

I’m such a lucky girl.

Endless Summer

Can you believe there are only 36 days left of Summer! I’m feeling intense pressure to make the most of the remaining “Summer” days (quotations because, let’s be honest, in the South it doesn’t get cold until around October/November, and if we have the same weather as last year, it won’t get very cold at all).

Looking back on my post from mid-March, I made a list of things I wanted to do this Summer:

– Hike at least 3 trails (1 of 3 completed)
– Summer pass to WWRC and trying all the activities: Water (whitewater rafting, flatwater kayaking, stand-up paddle boarding, war canoes, whitewater kayaking) Land (canyon crossing, canyon zip, rock climbing, mountain biking, mega zip, mega jump, adventure course, climb 2 zip, eco trekking, the trail system)
– Go camping at least 3 times (1 of 3 completed)
– Picnic at least 2 times
– Lay out a blanket at the park and read.
– Visit the Grand Canyon or Rocky Mountains (!!!!!!!)
– Go tubing on a river somewhere
– Go to as many outdoor concerts as possible

I feel so incredibly lazy! Visiting the Grand Canyon or Rocky Mountains was a stretch, but I hope I can cram everything else into these last 36 days. During my blogging hiatus I did manage to go hiking at Crowder’s Mountain, lay in the park and read, and go camping in Buchanan, VA.

A hiking trip this Saturday? Tubing down a river to follow? And maybe, just maybe, Jordan and I can visit The White Water Rafting Center the following weekend and cross some of those activites off. Jordan isn’t much of a picnic-er, however I did get him to lay on the grass at the park with me and read, so I think I’ll be able to sneak a picnic basket of lunch with us. (Or I will just picnic on my own, no need to let no company stop me! Our Time Is Precious after all!)

Do you have anything you want to accomplish before the end of Summer? I am looking forward to Autumn, as it’s has become my favorite time of year (previously Summer). I’m craving sweaters, boots, and cripsy crunchy leaves under my feet. I really want to go apple picking this year, so hopefully I can make that happen.

Time Is Precious

I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired of my “boring” life. I feel as though I’m constantly saying (read: complaining) about how mundane I find my life, that I’m just going through the motions: sleep, get ready, work, come home, eat dinner, watch tv, repeat. And on the weekends? I’m lazy and I sit around after completing a few chores, watching movies and tv shows with my boyfriend (who’s perfectly happy to lay around and do nothing.) So, who’s to blame for my mundane and pathetically boring life? ME.

Laziness breeds laziness, just as productivity breeds productivity — and I LOVE being productive, I LOVE being busy. Even my boss announced today that I work best under pressure! It feels so good to spend every minute of my time productively — and the only person stopping me from living life this way is me! I make the decision to come home from work and sit on the couch (because I’m so sick of my job, pitty me, I must sit and “relax” from my boring life). I make the decision to order food because I’m too lazy and tired of my boring life to go to the grocery store and cook something delicious for myself. I make the decision to spend my weekend cooped up inside watching TV on the couch or even in bed. These are all decisions I make for myself. And it’s time for a change.

Our time on Earth is precious, waking up every morning and growing older is a privledge denied to many and I refuse to sit around and convince myself that my life is boring and mundane and it’s all the universes fault because I wasn’t granted the life of a celebrity, or anyone else. I don’t have to sit around and have a lazy, boring life. Granted I can’t afford some luxuries like tropical and exotic vacations, however there is plenty I can do to keep busy and feel productive, useful, and happy.

No longer will I lay in bed until the very last minute in the mornings, dreading getting out of bed. No longer will I come home from my boring job and slump into the couch. No longer will I spend my weekends cooped up inside. I’m 24. I need to be living my life. I may not be able to afford much, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do anything. Today Kobe and I went on a 3.25 walk and it felt SO good. I did the dishes and tidied the living room and even ran a load of laundry. And now? Now it feels GOOD to sit and type this up as I enjoy my smoothie for dinner, in my Jordan’s clean condo.

I’m tired of my boring mundane life and I refuse to allow myself to live that way.

Silence Is Golden

Just a few minutes ago I was staring at my phone, trying to come up with something to blog about. Sometimes ideas come more naturally, something I feel passionately about or something that happens to be on my mind, but other times I want to write but I don’t know how to say what I want to say, or I’m not even sure what I”m trying to say… But then, it hit me:

“Collect Moments Not Things”

The background on my phone! A gentle reminder to be more present in life, to relish in the smaller moments, to be at peace even if just for a moment.

As a personal challenge I am going to “capture” these moments I want to collect for a month, at least one moment a day. I want to remind myself of the simple things that bring great joy to our hearts.

Like now, laying in bed eating my guilt-free macaroni and cheese in silence. (Jordan and Kobe are out playing disc golf.) I treasure silence just as much as I love music, especially to be alone in silence. How nice it is to lay still, quiet, alone but so in touch with the world around me. This little moment of silence and comfort I get to myself replenishes my soul, it’s like a battery charger making me feel spiritually re-energized.

I have always appreciated being alone — my mom has always told me that I played just as well by myself as I did with other children. To this day there are moments or things I’d prefer to do alone. I enjoy being social and surrounding myself with people, don’t get me wrong! But I also enjoy being alone and I think that is really important in becoming an adult. It is good to be able to depend on yourself from comfort and peace.

Moments alone in silence are one of the many moments I love to collect.