30 Before 30

I’m starting a 30 Before 30 list for myself — they seem quite popular among the blogging crowd, although each varying a little, all with the same goal in mind: accomplish a set amount of goals in a set amount of time. I’m excited to start this list, and I feel it will take me quite some time to really decided thirty things I want to do, and believe that I can accomplish. I don’t want to sell myself short and make the list easy, but I don’t want to be too unrealistic and therefore disappointed when my thirtieth birthday rolls around and I’ve yet to accomplish much of anything on the list. At this point in time I’m 24 (and 9 months, but who’s counting months?!) and by the time my 25th birthday sneaks up on me I’d like to have accomplished creating the list (as well as start accomplishing some of the things as well).

Here is what I’ve come up with so far:

1. Graduate College
2. Graduate Grad School
3. Write 30 snail mail letters
4. Go paddle boarding
5. Travel outside of the country
6. Visit 5 new states I have yet to visit (driving through doesn’t count)
7. Run a half marathon (officially this time!)
8. Eat vegan for an entire month
9. Save at least $5,000 (this is a goal I am going to contribute to starting this month!)
10. Throw a legitimate dinner party complete with invites, table settings, music, drinks, etc.
11. Pay off all credit card debt (and do not add anymore to it)
12. Purchase a digital SLR
13. Tour the Grand Canyon
14. Read at least 30 books from this list!
15. Learn to ride a motorcycle
16. Hot air balloon ride
17. Learn the names and be able to identify local/regional trees
18. “Unplug” (no phones, no internet, no tv!) for for 12 separate weekends
19. Move away from the East Coast
20. Learn how to change the oil in my car (and continue changing it)
21. See the NY Giants play in NY at the MetLife Stadium
22. Open a Roth IRA
23. Go backpacking / hike a mountain trail and camp out over night
24. Volunteer for a charity or cause I believe in
25. Print my photos and make albums (I haven’t printed photos in years and years)
26. Buy a new laptop (preferably a mac book)
27. Buy a piece (or 2) of vintage furniture
28. Do 3 pull-ups in a row! (at this point I cannot even do 1)
29. Learn to play an instrument decently (guitar, ukulele, banjo, piano……)
30. Go sky-diving! (I have a fear of falling, not of heights, but the feeling you’re not in control when you’re falling — like roller coasters)

Do you have a similar list? What are some things you can suggest I add?

Downsizing

The Democratic National Convention is in town this week and that means LOTS and LOTS of extra traffic. I have to admit, I am absolutely not looking forward to it.

Major downside? I live off Graham St which is smack dab in the middle of most of the happenings — and the VPOTUS and POTUS’ speech on Thursday is a stones throw away at the Bank of America Stadium. It’s going to be madness commuting to and from work with all the security.

The plus side? Jordan rented his place out for a nice chunk of change and we’ll be staying with his brother and his fiance a little ways away from all the happenings. I’m imagining a very stressful week though — I’ll still have to commute through all the traffic and security to head to work. Thankfully it’s only one week and not longer.

Since the place is being rented out, we’ve been doing some MAJOR cleaning. I’m talking down to scrubbing baseboards, and it feels SO good! I love a clean house, a really clean house, and this is the perfect “excuse” to even get Jordan involved in the cleaning. We’re packing pretty much everything up so it’s almost like a hotel for the guy renting and I’m really hoping we throw away a lot of it upon moving everything back in. We both have an extensive collection of “stuff” laying around and I love a good purging session. Not to mention all the dog hair in crevices I can’t wait to vacuum up.

I’m super excited that we’ll be purchasing a dresser for the bedroom. I’ve reached wits end with half of my clothing and unmentionables in a suitcase and I can’t wait to have a place to properly store them in. But, let’s be honest, I’m really and mostly excited about having a CLEAN house condo!

Have any of you experienced the DNC or RNC before?

Small Acts of Caring, pt 1

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around” – Leo Buscaglia

This speaks to me today on so many different levels. This past weekend I went to Greensboro to hang out with my dearest friend. We had an amazing talk that opened my eyes to so many things — and for today’s purpose, opened my eyes to truly knowing and believing what I am here on Earth for… to help people.

I don’t have much time to elaborate now, but I wanted to share this quote with you, whoever is reading this. Take a couple minutes every day to make a difference in someones life — even if you don’t realize that you are. Take a second to thank the cashier ringing up your groceries, tell them to kindly have a wonderful day. Help a struggling mother with children load her groceries. Hug your mom, your dad, your best friend, a co-worker. If you see someone wearing something you like, compliment them! ALL of these things are free and simple to do, they don’t take much time, and you will feel better, too.

And always wear a smile.

Endless Summer

Can you believe there are only 36 days left of Summer! I’m feeling intense pressure to make the most of the remaining “Summer” days (quotations because, let’s be honest, in the South it doesn’t get cold until around October/November, and if we have the same weather as last year, it won’t get very cold at all).

Looking back on my post from mid-March, I made a list of things I wanted to do this Summer:

– Hike at least 3 trails (1 of 3 completed)
– Summer pass to WWRC and trying all the activities: Water (whitewater rafting, flatwater kayaking, stand-up paddle boarding, war canoes, whitewater kayaking) Land (canyon crossing, canyon zip, rock climbing, mountain biking, mega zip, mega jump, adventure course, climb 2 zip, eco trekking, the trail system)
– Go camping at least 3 times (1 of 3 completed)
– Picnic at least 2 times
– Lay out a blanket at the park and read.
– Visit the Grand Canyon or Rocky Mountains (!!!!!!!)
– Go tubing on a river somewhere
– Go to as many outdoor concerts as possible

I feel so incredibly lazy! Visiting the Grand Canyon or Rocky Mountains was a stretch, but I hope I can cram everything else into these last 36 days. During my blogging hiatus I did manage to go hiking at Crowder’s Mountain, lay in the park and read, and go camping in Buchanan, VA.

A hiking trip this Saturday? Tubing down a river to follow? And maybe, just maybe, Jordan and I can visit The White Water Rafting Center the following weekend and cross some of those activites off. Jordan isn’t much of a picnic-er, however I did get him to lay on the grass at the park with me and read, so I think I’ll be able to sneak a picnic basket of lunch with us. (Or I will just picnic on my own, no need to let no company stop me! Our Time Is Precious after all!)

Do you have anything you want to accomplish before the end of Summer? I am looking forward to Autumn, as it’s has become my favorite time of year (previously Summer). I’m craving sweaters, boots, and cripsy crunchy leaves under my feet. I really want to go apple picking this year, so hopefully I can make that happen.

Time Is Precious

I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired of my “boring” life. I feel as though I’m constantly saying (read: complaining) about how mundane I find my life, that I’m just going through the motions: sleep, get ready, work, come home, eat dinner, watch tv, repeat. And on the weekends? I’m lazy and I sit around after completing a few chores, watching movies and tv shows with my boyfriend (who’s perfectly happy to lay around and do nothing.) So, who’s to blame for my mundane and pathetically boring life? ME.

Laziness breeds laziness, just as productivity breeds productivity — and I LOVE being productive, I LOVE being busy. Even my boss announced today that I work best under pressure! It feels so good to spend every minute of my time productively — and the only person stopping me from living life this way is me! I make the decision to come home from work and sit on the couch (because I’m so sick of my job, pitty me, I must sit and “relax” from my boring life). I make the decision to order food because I’m too lazy and tired of my boring life to go to the grocery store and cook something delicious for myself. I make the decision to spend my weekend cooped up inside watching TV on the couch or even in bed. These are all decisions I make for myself. And it’s time for a change.

Our time on Earth is precious, waking up every morning and growing older is a privledge denied to many and I refuse to sit around and convince myself that my life is boring and mundane and it’s all the universes fault because I wasn’t granted the life of a celebrity, or anyone else. I don’t have to sit around and have a lazy, boring life. Granted I can’t afford some luxuries like tropical and exotic vacations, however there is plenty I can do to keep busy and feel productive, useful, and happy.

No longer will I lay in bed until the very last minute in the mornings, dreading getting out of bed. No longer will I come home from my boring job and slump into the couch. No longer will I spend my weekends cooped up inside. I’m 24. I need to be living my life. I may not be able to afford much, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do anything. Today Kobe and I went on a 3.25 walk and it felt SO good. I did the dishes and tidied the living room and even ran a load of laundry. And now? Now it feels GOOD to sit and type this up as I enjoy my smoothie for dinner, in my Jordan’s clean condo.

I’m tired of my boring mundane life and I refuse to allow myself to live that way.

Silence Is Golden

Just a few minutes ago I was staring at my phone, trying to come up with something to blog about. Sometimes ideas come more naturally, something I feel passionately about or something that happens to be on my mind, but other times I want to write but I don’t know how to say what I want to say, or I’m not even sure what I”m trying to say… But then, it hit me:

“Collect Moments Not Things”

The background on my phone! A gentle reminder to be more present in life, to relish in the smaller moments, to be at peace even if just for a moment.

As a personal challenge I am going to “capture” these moments I want to collect for a month, at least one moment a day. I want to remind myself of the simple things that bring great joy to our hearts.

Like now, laying in bed eating my guilt-free macaroni and cheese in silence. (Jordan and Kobe are out playing disc golf.) I treasure silence just as much as I love music, especially to be alone in silence. How nice it is to lay still, quiet, alone but so in touch with the world around me. This little moment of silence and comfort I get to myself replenishes my soul, it’s like a battery charger making me feel spiritually re-energized.

I have always appreciated being alone — my mom has always told me that I played just as well by myself as I did with other children. To this day there are moments or things I’d prefer to do alone. I enjoy being social and surrounding myself with people, don’t get me wrong! But I also enjoy being alone and I think that is really important in becoming an adult. It is good to be able to depend on yourself from comfort and peace.

Moments alone in silence are one of the many moments I love to collect.

Quarter-Life Crisis

I am facing a major “quarter-life crisis.” At first I used that term as a joke, but it’s very apparent to me how very real this is. My generally happy and uplifting spirit and attitude towards life is nearly impossible to not fake lately. In fact, most of the time I am down right miserable; I’m sad, I’m scared, I don’t know, I’m moody, I over-react, I am so so sensitive, I can break out in tears in a matter of seconds (I’m urging back the tears and sniffles as I type this at work), the list goes on. And it all ever really comes down to a few things:

1) I’m 24 and I haven’t graduated college.
2) I am so unsure as of what to study now, where to go to school, how to go back to school while still having to work full-time (I mean, I know plenty of people do it..)
3) I’m not happy with my current job, not only is it not fufilling but I don’t get paid enough money.
4) I worry about money all. the. time.
5) I want to move out of Jordan’s place and I just can’t seem to find a place, or roommates. I can’t afford to live on my own no matter how badly I want to.
6) I’m so unsure of my future with Jordan it just makes me want to give up on it all, which is absolutely silly but I think this is mostly due to the 5 other things I’ve listed.
7) I want to pick up and move somewhere else, as if that will solve all my problems, right?
8) I don’t want to have to rely on anyone and that is just not realistic (and therefore, it is unfair).

I realize that I need to be absolutely grateful for the life I have, the love I have, the health and security I have that so many people do not have in my country and every other country, and in truth I am absolutely grateful for it all, but I just expect so much more out of myself. I have plenty of logical answers to all of these troubles, it is just so hard to listen to myself sometimes. I am a big mess. I am scared to move forward with my life. I am scared to mess up something good. I am scared to fail. I am scared of all of these things that in truth everyone are afraid of, so why are they paralyzing me and not other people (…I know that they probably are and I just am not there to witness/know it, much like how I don’t tell many people of my fears).

I JUST DON’T KNOW. That is all I can come up with. And because of that all I want to do is curl up in a ball, eat chocolate, run away, become a gypsy, and give up on ultimately doing anything positive with my life. I can be so dramatic. I know that realistically I am not alone in these feelings but at the moment it certainly feels that way. Facebook is so detrimental because I see everyone living their lives, graduating, getting great jobs, traveling, getting engaged/married/having a child… I just feel so behind, so left out. Where did it all go wrong for me? How did I mess things up for myself?

Healthy Happy Habits

My last post was rather depressing, but something on my mind none-the-less. As noted, I have struggled with my apperance, more so my perception of my appearance, for a very long time. As sad as it is to admit, I’ve found journals from elementary school with statements such as “I’m fat” and “I’m ugly” in them. How absolutely rotten to know that a little girl (a little me) feels that way about herself. It has driven me to become passionate about making sure all little girls are told they’re beautiful and it’s also driven me to study nutrition and dietetics. I really hope that when I finish my degree I can work with young girls and boys and teach them the importance of having a healthy relationship with food and exercise.

Sparked by my recent bout of negativity towards myself, I’ve realized that while I’ve been eating okay, I certainly haven’t been eating great — and that is a huge part of what makes me feel good about myself. Because I haven’t been in school for nearly 2 years working towards my degree, it’s safe to say I’ve slacked a little on my own personal nutrition habits. I go through periods of serious health followed by serious slacking. I want my serious health to stick for good this time.

I recently started making smoothies for my boyfriend and I to enjoy for breakfast every morning. I typically mix strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, and bananas with unsweetened vanilla almond milk, vanilla greek yogurt, protein powder, and spinach — really delicious. This morning I tried mangos, pineapples, and bananas with unsweetened vanilla almond milk, vanilla greek yogurt, protein powder, and kale — equally delicious (and more summery!). I’m going to keep playing with smootie concoctions and add more vegetables to them so they include even more nutrients. Jordan is even going to buy me a fancy new blender this weekend with his monthly bonus check.

Another big thing I always slack on? Water consumption. I absolutely hate unfiltered water (I’m such a snob, I know!) but it’s what I grew up with and I just can’t do it any other way. At work the water is awful, I was making it tolerable with lemons but even that required about half a lemon each glass. I keep meaning to purchase this Mio water enhancer, I think it would really help. I recently started making caffiene-free iced-tea in large batches so that I have something available quickly. My mom makes a great iced green-tea with fresh ginger that I’m going to try making on my own this weekend. It’s so refreshing in the hot Summer months and fresh ginger has great antioxident powers along with the green tea.

A few other feel-good habits I’m going to work on sticking to along with breakfast smoothies & water consumption:

Mother Nature’s Child

It’s a well known fact about me that I love the outdoors, just about anything and everything having to do with it. Call me a hippy at heart – nothing is better than walking barefoot through the grass with a gorgeous blue sky above, big white puffy clouds floating past, with the sun, radiant, warming my skin. NOTHING. I find peace and connect with God the most while in nature, especially when I need guidance. A run through the neighborhood or a walk in the park always helps me to connect, to find solutions to my problems, and if there are no solutions it helps me to at least find peace within.

It began when I was young. I always played outside: on the swing-set, climbing trees, in our sandbox in the back yard, riding my bike all over the neighborhood (and secretly, the neighborhoods surrounding, although I was never supposed to go that far), rolling down grassy hills, playing in the mud. I was not afraid to get dirty, and my legs are scarred from all the spills I took. I hated having to play inside, rain was my enemy.

My connection of God and nature started when I was young, too. I remember sometimes my Mom would take us to the playground behind our house. Before I could swing on my own, Mom would push my sisters and I and as we reached our toes as high as we could she’d tell us to say hi to our uncle, her brother, Alfred (who is in heaven). During thunderstorms when my sisters and I would be scared she’d tell us it was just Alfred bowling in heaven, to not worry. In 2005 I was 17 and my Grandma passed away, my mom’s mom. It was devestating, but I knew she was in heaven with her son. Every thunderstorm since makes me think she and him are bowling in heaven together (my Grandma was an avid bowler, she even paid for my two sisters and I to get lessons.) I found myself looking to the sky talking to my Grandma whenever I needed help – tears streaming down my face, walking home alone in the dark, or just feeling lonely – I’d look to the sky and I’d talk to her outloud. My Grandma was a practicing Catholic and since her death I have always associated talking to her like talking to God. While my relationship with God has improved, I used to feel like I couldn’t talk to him or pray to him, so I’d talk to my Grandma and ask her to tell God everything I told her.

It just about kills me to admit I’m stuck in my office writing this while outside it’s sunny and warm. I want to be outside, it’s such a tease gazing out the window! Thankfully daylight savings has begun and when I leave work at 5 the sun shines for more than an hour, I can’t wait until it begins to get dark at 8:30.
Because it’s not as socially acceptable for me to run around like a crazy child anymore, I feel as though I don’t spend as much time outdoors as I’d like to. I began playing disc golf with my boyfriend last year and I find that super enjoyable because there is a lot of walking (and sometimes trekking up and down hills) involved, usually it goes through some sort of woods (trees, my favorite!), and it takes at least ~2 hours to make it through the course if it’s not super busy. It’s a wonderful way to be outside and active. However there are many more outdoor activities I find myself wanting to do, yet I don’t. I want to go hiking, and every weekend I think to myself “lets go to the mountains!” yet nothing has happened thus far. I used to run far more than I do now, yet I don’t find it as enjoyable anymore which disappoints me and keeps me from doing it at all. I’d really like to try rock-climbing/scaling but I’m not sure how to get into it or if I have enough upper-body strength to do it. I’m hoping this year my boyfriend and I will get the summer pass to the White Water Rafting Center so we can take advantage of kayaking and zipling and such that the center has to offer. I LOVE camping, yet I haven’t since last year.

I’m full of excuses for why I haven’t been proactive in these activities I’d like to learn and take part in and that’s why, starting today, I’m done with excuses. This is going to be a Spring/Summer/Fall filled with outdoor activities and sports. My goals for this Summer include (but are certainly not limited to, as I plan to continue thinking of things to add to this list):

– Hike at least 3 trails.
– Summer pass to WWRC and trying all the activities: Water (whitewater rafting, flatwater kayaking, stand-up paddle boarding, war canoes, whitewater kayaking) Land (canyon crossing, canyon zip, rock climbing, mountain biking, mega zip, mega jump, adventure course, climb 2 zip, eco trekking, the trail system).
– Go camping at least 3 times.
– Picnic at least 2 times.
– Lay out a blanket at the park and read.
– Visit the Grand Canyon or Rocky Mountains (!!!!!!!)
– Go tubing on a river somewhere.
– Go to as many outdoor concerts as possible.

I’m sure this list will be ever changing and evolving but I think it’s a good start for me.

Sunshine, rainbows, butterflies

I have spent too much of this past year growing angry, hateful, and depressed instead of continuing to be loving, caring, and happy. At my place of employment we do a secret santa every year and after someone drawed my name last year they asked “what do you think of when you think of Kate?” and one chimed in “Sunshine and rainbows and butterflies!” and as such, that became my nickname. But now? I have let the negativity of others invade my life. Some people are not aware of their energy, how negative and soul-sucking it can be, and because of this I let go of my strength and happiness and let their anger and hatefulness overcome me. At first I just took it as a part of life, the older you get the more cynical and bitchy you become — but no. NO. That is not me at all! When my boyfriend met me he said he liked me because I was happy, always positive, always smiling but now? We’ve been together ~7 months and I’m always complaining to him, always telling him I’m depressed, always finding the negative and never focusing on what’s good and being happy. And that is not me at all! I need to get back to me. Back to spreading love and happiness and joy.

People could always count on me to cheer them up, to help them focus on the positive of a situation and not the negative, to help them overcome their sadness and now I feel as though all I do is add to their negativity, add to their depression. I complain. I whine. I tell Jordan about the bad parts of my day. I tell him I hate my job. I tell him how unhappy I am. I gossip with the girls at work. I am producing a negative energy that I fall into every day. But that all needs to change. I don’t live well when I’m unhappy. I am a happy person. Being negative is affecting my life negatively!

I want to focus on the good. I want to be at peace. Every day I want to remember what was good: as small and simple it may be. Today on my run I saw kids playing in their yard, their parents setting up Halloween decorations and this made my heart smile. This is what I’m about — the little, happy, uplifting things.

No longer will I be a negative nancy, I will be sunshine & rainbows & butterflies, just as before.